I'm in Love With Your Dead Grandmother

Hello, I'm Noah. I'm 28 years old and still haven't got a single date in my life, I'm looking for a life coach who can help me figure out the hard choices in my day to day life, you know? I'm sad and single, I have some friends online, but that's it. My main hobby is playing video games and sharing pictures with my friends from the interweb. They all like my pictures and say I'm special and funny. I recently created a dating profile because my friend told me I could get some action if I did, I might not be an action star like the people in the movies, but I still like action in my life because action is fun. I used one of my best pictures for my profile! It's super hot and shows off my beautiful mustache, which my mom says is a lady magnet. I thankfully got a date with a girl named Michelle. She's a bit too young for my liking, I prefer people that are over 70 years old. Just a preference, but I'm willing to give her a try. Can you please help me not ruin this date with her? Please? I will sometimes ask for your help on how to react or what to do. Thank you! Lots of kisses - Noah